Tuesday, December 06, 2005
4 Crucial Elements of Great Conversation by Peter Murphy
Ever wonder how to use effective communication skills to
create a conversation that leads to more than small talk?
Everybody has had a conversation that seems more like an
interrogation then a friendly exchange. Drilling questions
at each other is not a good way to talk. You really are
not learning anything, but rather just saying anything to
keep the conversation going.
Worse than just asking constant conversations is answering
a question and then asking it back of the other person.
That shows zero creativity and can come off as insincere.
A good conversation is where all parties involved really
care what the others have to say. Having effective
communication skills can lead to an interesting conversation.
In order to move on from small talk and into a real
conversation you need to understand how. You may start out
with simple questions like, "What have you been up to?" or
"How is your family doing?". The idea is to take what you
learn during this small talk and turn it into a conversation.
The following four points outline how to do this.
1. Listen.
Really listen to what people say and how they answer your
questions. If they seem hesitant in answering a question
then that topic may be something they feel uncomfortable
talking about.
If they seem to brighten up and really get excited about
answering a question then this is where you can find
something to talk more in depth about.
The key is to be ready to adapt. You need to be flexible in
your approach depending on how the other person responds.
Keep looking for topics that appeal and encourage
conversations on those topics because those ones are the
most likely winners.
2. Body Language.
Watch the reactions you get from a person. If they have
their arms crossed or are displaying a nervous habit then
perhaps right now is not a good time to talk. You can ask
or simply say you are sorry for taking their time.
You may actually find that conversations just make them
nervous or that they have something on their mind. In that
case you can really open up a conversation if they want to
talk.
Remember only 7% of communication is verbal. It is time
well spent paying close attention to "how" people
communicate not just what they say.
3. Deal with questions.
If it seems questions are the main part of your
conversation then it is up to you to turn this around.
Answer a question and share more of yourself so it can lead
into a good conversation. Perhaps someone asks about work,
you can answer about work, but then lead into how you'd
prefer to have more time for your hobby.
Have courage and get used to disclosing a little more of
your personality - talk about your interests, opinions,
likes and dislikes. The more you do, the easier it is for
others to get to know you.
4. End it.
If you really are not getting anywhere just end the
conversation politely. If you have something else to do or
sense the other person has something to do then it is good
to end the conversation.
There is no point in tying up time that can be better
spent. You have actually laid the groundwork for your next
conversation. The next time you speak with this person you
can talk about what you had to rush off to do or ask how
the rest of their day went.
Most small talk conversations can seem overly polite and
boring, so if you want better conversations use these tips
to develop the small talk into a good conversation.
Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.
Communicating with confidence can be learned...
Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.
The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.
I did it.
It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?
There certainly are.
Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.
Take it for a 365 day test drive at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.
Reserve your place here:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
Your Friend,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
Start your 365 day trial today.
P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.
create a conversation that leads to more than small talk?
Everybody has had a conversation that seems more like an
interrogation then a friendly exchange. Drilling questions
at each other is not a good way to talk. You really are
not learning anything, but rather just saying anything to
keep the conversation going.
Worse than just asking constant conversations is answering
a question and then asking it back of the other person.
That shows zero creativity and can come off as insincere.
A good conversation is where all parties involved really
care what the others have to say. Having effective
communication skills can lead to an interesting conversation.
In order to move on from small talk and into a real
conversation you need to understand how. You may start out
with simple questions like, "What have you been up to?" or
"How is your family doing?". The idea is to take what you
learn during this small talk and turn it into a conversation.
The following four points outline how to do this.
1. Listen.
Really listen to what people say and how they answer your
questions. If they seem hesitant in answering a question
then that topic may be something they feel uncomfortable
talking about.
If they seem to brighten up and really get excited about
answering a question then this is where you can find
something to talk more in depth about.
The key is to be ready to adapt. You need to be flexible in
your approach depending on how the other person responds.
Keep looking for topics that appeal and encourage
conversations on those topics because those ones are the
most likely winners.
2. Body Language.
Watch the reactions you get from a person. If they have
their arms crossed or are displaying a nervous habit then
perhaps right now is not a good time to talk. You can ask
or simply say you are sorry for taking their time.
You may actually find that conversations just make them
nervous or that they have something on their mind. In that
case you can really open up a conversation if they want to
talk.
Remember only 7% of communication is verbal. It is time
well spent paying close attention to "how" people
communicate not just what they say.
3. Deal with questions.
If it seems questions are the main part of your
conversation then it is up to you to turn this around.
Answer a question and share more of yourself so it can lead
into a good conversation. Perhaps someone asks about work,
you can answer about work, but then lead into how you'd
prefer to have more time for your hobby.
Have courage and get used to disclosing a little more of
your personality - talk about your interests, opinions,
likes and dislikes. The more you do, the easier it is for
others to get to know you.
4. End it.
If you really are not getting anywhere just end the
conversation politely. If you have something else to do or
sense the other person has something to do then it is good
to end the conversation.
There is no point in tying up time that can be better
spent. You have actually laid the groundwork for your next
conversation. The next time you speak with this person you
can talk about what you had to rush off to do or ask how
the rest of their day went.
Most small talk conversations can seem overly polite and
boring, so if you want better conversations use these tips
to develop the small talk into a good conversation.
Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.
Communicating with confidence can be learned...
Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.
The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.
I did it.
It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?
There certainly are.
Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.
Take it for a 365 day test drive at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.
Reserve your place here:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
Your Friend,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
Start your 365 day trial today.
P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.
