Thursday, November 24, 2005

THE REALLY USEFUL NETWORKING CONVERSATION

By now, you'd have to have lived in a cave in Afghanistan for the last decade not to know the importance of networking. Whether you're job-hunting, or growing your business, or just striding into the exciting world of networking, you need to know how to talk. And listen.

But beyond "how did you hear about this event?" how do you start a worthwhile networking conversation? It's not so hard - you just have to focus on the OTHER person.

The first and biggest rule of making networking conversation is that it's a conversation, not an audio broadcast. Don't deliver an aural business card, in other words! What's more annoying than aconversation like this:
YOU: (Spotting the nametag that says SALLY JONES on a nearby woman's lapel) So, Sally, what do you do in your business?
SHE: Oh, we're a full-service marketing firm, delivering great results for clients across a wide range of industries. We do branding, marketing, advertising solutions, web design, collateral materials, annual reports, and full-color printing. We work closely with our clients to find breakthrough solutions to tough problems. We value every client as a friend. We...
YOU: Got it - I'm afraid I forgot to feed the meter. (Exit stageleft.)

See? Just because you're face-to-face with a person at a networking event doesn't mean that you're willing to listen to a non-stop marketing spiel. You shouldn't have to. And neither should anyone else. Just like in the sales arena (and networking has something incommon with sales, in that you're selling a person on the value of knowing you), you should spend more time listening than talking.
Let's try that conversation again.
YOU: Hello Sally, what does your business do?
SHE: Oh, we're a really wonderful small marketing firm. I'd love totell you more about us. But -- let's start with you. What do YOU do?
YOU: Well, I'm a technical search consultant.
SHE: Terrific! What sorts of assignments do you specialize in?

See what's happening now? It's a conversation. No one feels the need to jump out there with an uninvited commercial message. You will each learn interesting things about the other in a two-way exchange. Now you have a base for networking, and for finding ways to help one another.

The second big rule for creating networking conversation is this:
find out as much about the person behind the business card as you do about the business. After all, we are more than our professionalselves. The world is full of real estate people, for example. Some of them are worldly and insightful. Some of them are pretty dull and uncreative. How can you tell who's who? Ask them!

Here are five questions for networking conversations, that get beyond the obvious "what do you do for a living?" arena. If I'm meeting you at a networking function, I want to know what drives you. I want to know what you do when you're NOT working, and why you choose to do that thing. I want to to know what you think about. Are you my kind of person? Am I yours? That's what builds relationships - mutual interests.

Let's face it, most of the people we randomly meet at networking get-togethers aren't in a position to buy our services (or find us a job, or help us with our goals) this very minute. What's important is that these folks remember you, and like you, and will stay connected to you over time. It's a person-to-person connection you're after - not a business-card-meets-business card one!

So, here are the five questions:
1) How did you wend your way into the [technical search] business?
Stories are the spice of life, and the key to a person's character.
It's fascinating to hear how people make their ways through careers -much more interesting, often, than a simple description of what they do every day. Dig in to the story!

2) So, where do you think the [technical search] industry is going?
What trends do you see shaping up?
Want to understand the quality of a person's thinking? Ask him orher for an analysis of the current industry scene.

3) Where are you from?
This little question is my all-time favorite. If the answeris "Pittsburgh," of course, you don't let it sit there - you findout about your new friend's early life in Pittsburgh, and where he went after that, and how he ended up here in your city. Probe! The fun of meeting new people is mostly in learning about the different choices (different from your own, that is) that people make in theirlives.

4) What's your favorite thing to do outside of work?
Here again, the key is that when your new acquaintance says, "Herpetology," you don't say, "Cool." You ask questions! Think of your brief conversation as a mini-interview. Why herpetology? What is herpetology again, anyway? Lizards? What kinds of lizards do you like? Don't they get mites? Ask, and listen!

That's how relationships are created. Here's the bottom line, when it comes to networking: people do business with people they feel connected to.
It's more important to make a true connection - by learning that, say, we both have sets of twins and love the opera - than to make a flimsy one, based on the fact that we're both in the printing business (and have absolutely no other shared interest or conversational 'spark').

Business, thank goodness, is populated by people. It's human connections that make things happen. Practice asking questions and then practice something else: clapping your mouth shut and listening. For some of us, that's a new business skill. The benefits? Priceless.

This article was posted by Liz R. at MyLinkedinPowerForum · "Building Partnerships for Business"
The purpose of My Linkedin* Power Forum is to help Linkedin users power up their networking in order to do business better.

You can check also http://finance.groups.yahoo.com/group/MyLinkedinPowerForum/

If you would like to know more about LinkedIn, to expand your network, or contact me, please feel free to ask me to direct connect. (leave a message)
https://www.linkedin.com/profile?viewProfile=&key=838234

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Here are a few quotes of inspiration and some food for thought about work and life ... CARPE DIEM (seize the day)

"Networking is more than meeting the right people. It's about connecting with their purpose and helping them achieve their goals. It's about connectin them with their success."

  • Craig Elias: Canada's Mr. Networking
  • "So you ask “what can I do to build confidence in myself”? Start by discovering who you are (your Personal Brand), which will allow you to understand what you need to do in order to gain this confidence you seek. Once discovered, it is all about repetition, through telling yourself that you are unique and “you have nothing to lose.” Saying this will help you be more outgoing, which translates into confidence."

  • Dan Schawbel
  • "Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. Unfortunately most of us are completely unaware of this fact and we do not monitor our thoughts with the care needed so that we can create in our lives the results we say we want. Since the great majority of people do not feel worthy and deserving of abundant good fortune, radiant good health and total success in all areas of their lives that overriding thought pattern controls the results people get. The first order of business of anyone who wants to enjoy success in all areas of his or her life is to take charge of the internal dialogue they have and only think, say and behave in manner consistent with the results they truly desire. - Sidney Madwed

    "You cannot escape the results of your thoughts. Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain or rise with your thoughts, your vision, your ideal. You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration." - James Lane Allen

    "In football you always get judged on your last game. Whoever you are, or how amazing you are, it's the last game that everyone has seen." - Thierry Henry

    "80% of the stuff you get you are never going to need again. 20% you do need, and you need to prioritize its importance."

  • Julie Mahan
  • "It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project." - Napoleon Hill

    "The only thing that doesn't change is change itself." - Heraclitus (You can't step into the same river twice, the old Greek said, because the water keeps moving. - If you're clinging to your old reliable tools, you're not just standing still, you're actually moving backwards from the point of view of those who are moving on with the river of technological change.)

    "The secret of man's success resides in his insight into the moods of people, and his tact in dealing with them." - J. G. Holland

    "To put distance between you and your competition, you must become more VALUABLE... not just more PRODUCTIVE."

  • E. R. Haas
  • "When one door closes another door opens; but we do often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

    "Successful people are not necessary smarter than anyone else, they are simply more effective."

  • Ross Mackay
  • "You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you're doing."

  • Dale Carnegie